When will I stop acting?

Why do I act this way?? Why cant I be normal and be who I truly am??? Am I that useless and can't be true to my friends?? It's tiring...I lost the most important person in my life just coz of my mistake and only thinking about myself...サラング ごめんね。。。。見逃すよ。。coz of me being foolish and I not just hurt myself I hurt you the most....mian ne...jin jja...mian... :'( I'm so stupid...but you didn't know how I was being isolated by you...srsly I hated it...I guess that's when I only thought about myself :/
But right now this is how I only feel and feel like for a long while...

What are you thinking??

Recently I blogged about losing that important friend of mine. Yea...well like I go to the same hospitality class as them and we are getting our work placement choices. We had the free choice. I chose this bistro down at west ryde. The teacher did mention that two ppl can go to this bistro coz it's big enough to have 2 students there. One by one the teacher read down the list and selecting a student that she thinks would suit the job and place. One by one the list becomes shorter. Then finally the choice that I wanted west ryde something somethig something (forgot the name) so without a second thought I raised my hand n noticed that person put up their hand not long after mine...what was that person thinking?? Wouldn't they think about the consequences and know that it would be really awks?? What are they thinking?? My other friends that know about my situation gave me this look of sympathy and would u be alright. I simply couldn't do anything but give them back a smile to show I'm ok don't need to worry about me. But really my true feelings were hiding behind a mask...what should I do?? I'm really scared...I don't wanna have that awkward moment :( or is this a sign from god giving us a second chance to be as close as before?? What am I suppose to do..im so confused...why did that person raise their hand up even if I raised mine first?? What are they thinking??? Someone tell me....

xx cuutetuurtle

Last Day Of Holidays

Hey hey hey~~
Today is the last day of school have u all treasured these last few hrs??  i think i have :)

I went to Eastwood with my mum and granny in the morning to do some grocery shopping which was ok fun but coz of the heat i didn't really enjoy it that muchie :L oh well~~ got to have some good times in Eastwood staring at all the hotties hahaha :)

During the afternoon i arrived back at Hornsby like around 1 ish~~ i met up with the best girl ever Raiza Lu :) we went strolling around the shops coz of free air con~ so many things we did today to list or type out. but one of them was playing the air hockey thingy in timezone >D it was a very close game ^^ feels like you can see the fire coming out  from both of us showing that we wanted to win hahaha. very epik moment we were like screaming and shouting and etc :P but obviously the pro aka me won that LU-ser XD mwuahahaha.

Oh well not much longer till the next day!!! SCHOOL!!! i am sooooo excited coz i am going to new school (St Ives)  so excited get to hang out with the coolest girl ever Annie :) i can't wait man :)

I also added some more videos into http://www.youtube.com/user/BubbleX3Tea :) yea do go and check it out :)

Ok imma go to bed now to get ready for school :) nitenite everyone :33

kkbaix cuutetuurtle

Hey Long Time No Blog

Hey bloggers!! how have you all been?? i havent posted up a blog in ages - about 5 ~ 6 months....thats a really really long time =3= i probs start blogging again since it feels like i have a lot of things to share with everyone :) so much that i have on idea to start from :P i guess i can start from the beginning of this year?!?! actually nahh not bothered to type that much. teehee :33

I guess there is several things i can share with you guys right now or maybe get some help from you guy too :)

The first thing i can share with you all is that my friends and i have created a youtube account :) crazy isnt  it?? we didnt expect to get that into youtube that we start posting up our own videos. come check it out when you are bothered http://www.youtube.com/user/BubbleX3Tea?feature=mhum coz i know that raiza, herschell and i would love you guys just to browse around on our channel. please to tell us what you think of it. thanks guys ;)

Another thing i can share and need help is with my emotions....like its hard to explain but i try my best. you know when like you act happy on the outside but actually inside your heart you are all sad and just want someone to hug and have a shoulder for you to cry on? but then you dont know why your sad and all. it's like i am having that feeling most of the time lately...even i am confused with my own emotions so does that mean when i am with friends my happiness is fake?? or am i actually having a hell of a time?? or just i am lying to myself that this is really fun just to boost my emotions up?? i am soooo confused.

thanks guys!!~
cuutetuurtle

One step closer to freedom

Hey bloggers!!!~
I am back with a second post^^ Lol. It's finally the holidays!!!~ 3 cheers for holidays hiphip hurray hiphip hurray hiphip hurray :) Lol last day of school was bomb apart from the reports it was all great^^ As well as feeling really fat by the end of the day.

Music
We were having this movie day going on. Pplz brought so much  yummy food.
~ Chocolate!~~~
There was so much chocolate that it wasnt funny. i was so full of chocolate by the time i left class. I had like 3 freddo frogs 2 pieces of rocky road and lots of other starburst lollies. *Sighs* eating so much fat but still good ^^
We watch "school of rock"

Marine Studies
We had like another movie thing going on. lol This time we had chocolate cake....i had 2 pieces of cake coz 1 of my friends didnt want to have it. Eating fat once again......TwT
We were watching " finding nemo" seen it so many times that i rmb almost al ltheir lines...

Japanese
In japanese Heschell and i were watching Rachel play poker on her laptop as well as helping her out. Lol how funny gambling in the class with the school laptops. Meh who cares they  suck anyways.We also ate that seaweed rice cracker thingy.

Science
Science we were doing nothing just still there watching random talks from TED.com which was boring but some was really funny. Karen was sitting beside me doing a poster for the table coz we cbb to do anything. Sandy and i were watching grey's anatomy. LOvE IT SO MUCH!!!~~

Lunch
Was watching Herschell and Chan play poker. While txtig Hanson and talking to him randomly coz he called. Then again we went on a high coz of poker.

Maths
We had a party for Mr Harris coz it was his birthday. Had a piece of cake handful of chips 4 sour snakes etc...so fat...lol  but the most funny thing that happened was that we went so high that i fell off a chair andonto tables. Taking photos for a memory in class and had to squish up to fit into the screen so some were standing on tables and chairs while some just stood there. Took so many pictures and then there was this picture where it is a stupid faced one. Jenny then lost her balance coz she didnt know what pose to do and she fell off the chair and fell onto the tables and then on the floor. She pushed me along the way so i lost my balance too and fell down not long after. But it felt like the tables were playing ping pong on me....i fell onto a table then to another. My back hurts ><"

The School ended finally.
To sum up the whole day it was fat...movies...chocolate...cakes...parties...and back pain. Lol teehee ^^
kkbai
cuutetuurtle

Pro-ness

heyheyhey~~
Teehee was playing tennis today with the yr 9s aka the pplz that does paying sport. We started off with some serving which was pretty easy. Had some games afterwards which was so boring coz no one was really trying. Herschell and Rachel were the first pplz who we versed it was 11:3 mine and bonnie's win ^^ The tried their best^^

The second game was versing Brittany and Stacey. They didn't play properly. Mostly swearing and complaining that we served to the wrong court. This is coz Bonnie and i got irritated by them so we didn't bother trying hard for them. Besides they cheated. So it was another win for Bonnie and i ^^ We are so pro teehee.

The last game we played was against Vivienne and Katie. Haha that was the funniest game. We cracked up laughing at each others stupidity. Vivienne is so cute^^ Bonnie and i won the game again. Bonnie and i were chatting and then we hear this screaming from Vivienne because she was happy about losing all 3 games. We obviously cracked up laughing again. But the more funny thing was Katie was shaking her head in shame at Vivienne haha their so cute^^

Home time!!! Bonnie and i caught the bus home from Asquith. We talked about so much things :) I just noticed that Bonnie is actually really open as well.

Oh yea good luck Raiza after school spending time at Jenny's house with Camille^^ Its going to be so much fun ;)
kkbai
cuutetuurtle

A Life Time Lesson #2

Heyheyhey pplz~
I am back with another life time lesson from Raiza (honey) This was like a while ago but was too lazy to type it up onto my blog :) Well lets get onto the lesson. That day we were walking to school from the station. I was walking with Raiza's sister Rina whom was mentioned in lesson #1. Then i hear from Jenny in a loud voice

Raiza is a pervert!!!~

Well duh obviously i turned around and asked why what happened.

This was the reply i got from Jenny.

What wrong? Why is Raiza a prevert?

Raiza is a PERVERT she was full asking if i think my boobs are big enough...

replied Jenny.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Raiza you pervert~~

i said back.

Nononono let me explain...

said Raiza.
This was when Jenny and i walked away from Raiza coz we were freaked out~~ This obviously shows that Raiza is a pervert and teaches her sister bad things(mentioned in lesson #1).
RAIZA IS A PERVERT!!!!~
Lol we love you sweetie :33 Well we hope ;)
kkbai
cuutetuurtle